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  • Writer's pictureChristina Rhyser

How to RECONSIDER Life Circumstances

a person looking down on a u-turn road contemplating direction

Dear Christy,

I feel trapped, but what can I do? I made my bed now I have to lie in it, right?

The short version of the story is that I adopted my partner's kids when we got married, but I'm not sure I want to stay in this family anymore. There's not enough money to go around, our house is too small, and my partner has cheated on me more than once. The kids don't even seem to like me and I can't say I'm super fond of them either. I fantasize about just disappearing but I made a commitment and I can't just abandon them, can I?

Maybe if we went to therapy and bought a bigger house, then things would be better. I wish we could be happy together but I'm losing hope.

What should I do? What CAN I do?



Dear Jo,

This sounds complicated and I'm sorry for what you're going through. No matter what you choose to do, I know you're doing the best you can with what you have right now, and there's nothing easy about any of it. Your feelings, needs and contributions matter too, so don't forget to also include yourself as you consider what comes next.

Nobody else can decide what is best for you, but I can offer some guidelines to help you make some hard choices. Here is a short article outlining my advice. Let me know if you'd like to book a call to discuss in more detail.




Navigating demanding life circumstances can often feel like an uphill battle. In the face of adversity, we are presented with a fundamental choice: will we accept our circumstances for what they are, or will we take action to change them? In this blog post, we'll explore the power of reconsidering life circumstances through the lenses of acceptance and change, offering insights and strategies to help you navigate life's demands with grace and resilience.

ACCEPT: Embrace What Is

Acceptance is the practice of acknowledging and embracing our current reality, regardless of whether it aligns with our desires or expectations. It involves letting go of resistance and surrendering to the present moment, finding peace and contentment amidst life's uncertainties. When faced with challenging circumstances, practicing acceptance can offer a sense of relief and liberation, allowing us to release the burden of trying to control the uncontrollable.

How to Practice Acceptance:

  1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Start by acknowledging your emotions and allowing yourself to experience them fully. Avoid suppressing or denying your feelings, as this can lead to further distress.

  2. Reframe Your Perspective: Shift your focus from what you cannot change to what you can control. Look for silver linings or opportunities for growth within your circumstances, finding meaning and purpose even in the midst of adversity.

  3. Practice Mindfulness: Cultivate mindfulness through meditation, deep breathing, or other relaxation techniques. By staying present in the moment, you can cultivate a sense of calm and acceptance, regardless of external circumstances.

  4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind and compassionate towards yourself, recognizing that it's okay to struggle and experience hardship. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend in need.

CHANGE: Transform What Can Be Changed

While acceptance offers solace in the face of life's inevitable challenges, there are times when we may feel compelled to take action and instigate change. Change involves rethinking our circumstances and actively working towards transforming or releasing them, rather than resigning ourselves to passivity. By embracing a mindset of change, we empower ourselves to take control of our lives and create the future we desire.

How to Embrace Change:

  1. Identify Areas for Improvement: Take stock of your current circumstances and identify areas where change is possible or necessary. Be honest with yourself about what aspects of your life are not serving you well.

  2. Set Clear Goals: Define specific, achievable goals that align with your values and priorities. Break down larger goals into smaller, actionable steps, and create a plan for how you will work towards them.

  3. Seek Support: Don't be afraid to reach out for help and support from friends, family, or professionals. Surround yourself with people who believe in your ability to change and are willing to support you on your journey.

  4. Embrace Flexibility: Understand that change is a process and may not happen overnight. Be flexible and open-minded, willing to adapt your approach as needed in response to obstacles or setbacks.

Knowing Which Life Circumstances to Accept or Change

In navigating life's demands, it's essential to strike a balance between acceptance and change. While acceptance allows us to find peace and contentment in the present moment, change empowers us to take control of our lives and create the future we desire. By cultivating a mindset that embraces both acceptance and change, we can navigate life's challenges with grace, resilience, and authenticity.


Life is unpredictable, and we are constantly faced with demanding circumstances that challenge us to adapt and grow. By reconsidering our approach to these challenges through the lenses of acceptance and change, we can find greater peace, resilience, and fulfillment in our lives. Whether we choose to accept our circumstances for what they are or take action to change them, the power ultimately lies within us to shape our own destiny and create the life we envision. Embrace the journey, embrace the process, and embrace the opportunity for growth and transformation that each new challenge brings.


Need some help to reconsider some life circumstances?

Want to chat more about parental wellness?

Ready to re-create a life you love?



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